I know I am several weeks behind on 1 Samuel, and I just wanted to check in. With all the insurance issues I have made lots of excuses to skip 1 Samuel, and I think part of the reason is knowing that my thoughts are going out to real people. Right now my thoughts feel a little dark and lonely, and I just want to be able to soak in the book when I am reading it. This book really matters to me. I have read through it in the past, but I really wanted to study the book my son’s name comes from, and I am just not giving it the attention I was hoping this last two weeks. So bear with me a little longer. Our appointment is Tuesday this week, and I am giving myself (and our family) Wednesday off as a recovery day (whether from the possible surgery or from the news that there will be yet more waiting).
As I have said in each book of the Bible so far and will continue to say for every Blog Bible Study in the future, we have to give ourselves grace. There are times when we all have to take a day off, or two in this case. In the past Blog Bible Studies I have struggled a lot with guilt if I got behind or skipped a day. It is far easier to make a law and bind ourselves with it than to have grace. So stop doing that. God already gave us all the grace we need, and yet we keep it in a triple locked box and then hide the key sometimes. Grace isn’t given to you solely to share with others, we need it. This is not coming from a place of knowing how to do this all the time, but from a place of knowing that it is a gift that is already ours. Maybe 1 Samuel isn’t binding you, but there might be something else that is. Something that you feel chained by, and I just want to stand firm with you alongside Jesus to say: Satan, you have no hold over me. Take your guilt and SCRAM!!!
Guilt has also been trying to chain me again, but I have rejoiced that at least in this one area of not reading 1 Samuel I do not feel any guilt. This is extremely big for me because I am continuing to read the Bible every night with my son instead of hide from God out of shame that I couldn’t read that next section of 1 Samuel. I have been feeling guilt that my quiet time has been disrupted, as many of you know I went through the Make Over Your Mornings class, which was amazing for me. And I am also a big supporter of Heidi Franz who wrote the ebook A Quiet Time Worth The Time (as well as all of the homeschool curriculum we are using with Davy). So, when this depression and constantly transitioning messed with my new found routine this summer, I felt very discouraged. But every night I continued to read the Bible to Davy, and one night I realized that we were reading the majority of my Bible Reading Plan! I share these two praises with you because they are HUGE in my life. In the past I have failed my own expectations in the Bible and then just quit reading the Bible altogether thinking I had failed God. Now I know that He is here with me and I am continuing to pursue Him even when I can’t accomplish each thing I hoped I would be accomplishing. He is the only one who knows what each day will hold, after all. Here is a story that has really been helping me rely on Christ to loose my chains, please look it up to read the whole section:
Part of the reason I like these Blog Bible Studies is that they offer a way to join in whenever and you can do them on your own time as you follow the blog. It is nice for me to use my bookmark toolbar on my computer to keep different blogs and I can check in to the study’s page. During this study you might have started later or gotten behind and I hope this gap gives you a chance to “catch up.” Hopefully this next week will help us relieve some more of the tension and anticipation and I can relax enough to soak in the Word and get the next section of 1 Samuel out in the next week.