One Little Word
A pastor in our sending community often shares his distaste for the word “just.” We use it without meaning it. We say, “I just want some quiet.” Then as soon as everyone quiets down, we say, “Now, I just need to finish this page.” Well, you got what you asked for, quiet, but you were not satisfied. Pastor Tom’s explanations about the word just have inspired me to truly be more aware of the words I am using, and especially with the word just. I have removed it from my prayers because I never Just want that one thing. I want it all. I want the peace, patience, joy, love, grace, time, and sleep running over all over the place!
While I have worked hard to remove the word just in some areas of my life, I spent a season this past year elevating the word as well. In 2015 I felt that I was not being an intentional mother in the way God was calling me to be. I had people affirming my skills in mothering, I was homeschooling my son, but I was not obeying God in submitting to the role of motherhood. I wanted to be able to do all the things I wanted to do, plus mothering. It was like motherhood was my side hustle instead of my primary job. That was what God was taking issue with. So, I took a year to be “Just a wife and mother”.
Just a Wife and Mother
The first thing I found funny when I began using this expression was how people would correct me right away. “You’re not JUST a mom!” If I had said I just want to lose 100 lbs, no one would have batted an eye, but that phrase is all cued up in Feminist America’s mind as NO WAY! And I would explain, “Yes, I do just want to be a wife and mother for awhile. I was called by God to do this, and if I keep pretending I can do every single passion full time I will never have time for my kids.” The year was an excellent learning time for me. When our daughter was in pain all the time, my commitment was not torn from other pursuits, I was already prepared. God obviously knew what He was saying when He called me to this commitment.
This past October I had a friend remind me that my commitment was for a year and it was over. I looked at my life and realized that in that year I had learned so much about how to be a good mom to my individual kids, and now I am ready for this new stage. I am going to be attending Rutgers University to pursue a second Masters degree. This degree is going to be focused on library and information science. I am excited to pursue this passion that I have had on the back burner for quite some time now. I believe it is going to open up new opportunities for ministry and fruit in my life.